Moving on, as the saying goes, when things just don't turn out like you thought and you are forced to begin anew, it is so incredibly hard for me. I am not a quitter and moving on feels like I failed and now I must retreat, I hate that! I guess I really did want to start a new chapter in my book of life, but the story took an unexpected twist, and like Will Ferrell in Stranger than Fiction, someone is after me and controlling every scene. Sometimes that thought is comforting, because God knows I am not good at being in control, but other times it just makes me mad.
One comforting thought that is looming as I wallow about the things I've lost is that though I may have thought this was the best God could do, it's not! I've challenged him before, dared him in fact, to blow my mind with what he can do in and through my life and he has. At every turning point he has put me square with a life beyond my greatest dream and beyond anything I could even fathom. So here I am again challenging him to do what he's always done in a way I could never see. I'm done trying to stay in control or manipulate...it is simply too exausting...waiting on God to fulfill longings and promises seem a far better option at this point...I hope I can remember that in the next few hours when I'm sure something unexpected will happen!
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