Soul Cravings

I’ve gotten through the first 17 journal entries in Erwin McManus’ book, Soul Cravings, and as I’m reading each one I keep thinking, “oh I should post this, it’s really good stuff” but then I keep reading and all of it is just so good, so I highly recommend it because I can’t post the whole book on here.

One part really stirred me though. McManus talks about our need or craving for intimacy and love not only with and from God, but with each other. He has even gone as far to say that it is really in the context of people that you find your identity. And not just anyone, healthy people. Our identity or how self-aware we are comes from our interactions with others.
So this got me thinking, this semester my classes have been about theory. One class focused in on Student Development Theory. Basically, they are ideas that people (educated people) came up with to try and explain how identities develop in college students. Identity development is classified as phenomena, it's not the same for everyone, and all we can do is know the proxemics of the possibilities of how a person develops.

In this class, I was asked to write my college experience story in the context of one theory. I won't bore you with all the connections to theory, but the one thing that stood out, particularly after reading what McManus said, is how without particular people in my path, I do not know if I would know myself the way that I do.

What I mean is that this gift of being able to see myself through someone else’s eyes changed the way my eyes see.

It is one thing to know that I was created in the image of God and that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ, blah, blah, blah, BUT it is a complete other thing for someone close to you or even a stranger to say or do something that reflects that knowledge. And trust me most of these times of seeing myself through others has not been fun, in fact they were usually painful and ugly.

The best example I can think of is to tell you about my friend Lissa and I. She and I could not be more opposite personalities; it was as if we spoke completely different languages. Yet, at first sight we thought we were meant to be friends, we were both starting college a little older than everyone else and we had the same interests and we were neighbors. Digging further into knowing each other we recognized the difficulties our personality differences were making. Most of my friendships up to that point were short-lived for one reason or another, so naturally I thought well we don't get along so we probably just won't be friends. But Lissa would not allow that, I’ll never forget that night sitting in our dorm room and her looking me square in the face and telling me "We're friends and that means good or bad you're stuck with me because I love you no matter how hard this relationship becomes." Of course I was balling my eyes out (hey I’m a girl) but it was because I had never experienced someone so fiercely fighting to keep me in their life, nor anyone so committed and what’s more I didn't deserve her friendship.
That night and my friendship with this amazing girl changed my life forever. It allowed me the freedom to make mistakes and fall without the fear that I would end up alone. Because of Lissa and a host of friends that followed I was able to let out all the ugly parts of myself and take a deep gaze. It was so painful. But walking through the mucky parts with my friends holding my hands the whole way made it possible to let go of the muck and become something new.
The reason I can know myself today is a result of others choosing to know me also and the gift of their friendship allowed me to get glimpses for good or bad of who I am and who I am meant to be.

They showed me in real life what unconditional love looks like and how to identify myself as a created thing by this great God.

You will never know the impact someone will have on your life, nor will you know the impact you could have on others, so keep your eyes open.