Well...I've wandered into the land of blogging...my cousin inspired me to begin this journey and take people with me.
So here I am playing the waiting game, many opportunities that are in that "wait and see" place with God...but for the first time in a long time it is not a scary place, but an exciting place. It's almost like an awakening, like I've been asleep and am waking up to myself again. It's not that I have been hiding who I am or that I wasn't even being myself, but I think I just forgot about this part of me or was having trouble liking it maybe. I forgot about who my God is and who He has been to me...I forgot about the way he's always talked to me and the amazing unbelievable things he's done for me. It's nice to wake up and remember that God is for me and that he is near.
I've been contemplating Hebrews 11:1-2..."Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I roll it over and over trying to really grasp it...the best I have come up with is that if we know what we hope for then faith is being sure of that hope, believing that it can happen but it has to be tempered with the certainty that we do not know the future, but God does and though we may not see it, we can be certain that our hope will be there.
Hope can be a four letter word for some people because it immediately drums up fear and anxiety, but I have always been a risk taker, particurlarly with people. Relationships are always worth the risk of getting hurt, because on the other side of hurt is this amazing joy that you can only know from knowing the pain. My hopes are not always met with joy, sometimes they are met by pain and sorrow, unimaginable sorrow...but I believe if we do not risk getting hurt we also miss out on the incredible joy that comes when hopes are fulfilled. I'm a both feet in kind of girl. Some people need to take their time on the steps of the pool before they fully submerse, not me I want to get the cold part of being in the pool over so I just jump right in...I guess I'm all or nothing I have a hard time holding back when it comes to my heart. I probably should be more cautious because then I would not feel the sting of pain so deeply and my heart would not be so scarred. Yet, I also think that it is the walking and making it through the heart ache that makes it all worth it. Joy is always on the other side of pain.
So my first ramblings are over...I'm heading to St. Louis tonight for some fun times with friends and I am too excited!!
1 comment:
hey cuz, read "Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus. If you want to of course. It's a really good book. I dont recomend books very often either. k seeya later mate.
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