it's all coming back to me now..

Week 2:
This week has been better, not quite as sad as last week. My cousin came to stay with me and we walked around Santana Row (a uber nice outdoor shopping plaza in San Jose). I bought some Mary Janes that feel like slippers from Urban Outfitters...it's nice to be near all the places I love. I also discovered that Elise (my little cousin, who is not little anymore...how she got to be 25 already I don't know) is just as much an 80's fan as me, so some 80's dances/shows are in my near future!

I also got to see my old college roommate and dear friend Lissa and her two adorable boys! It was so nice to be with her and catch up, reminisce and discover how each of us has changed. I was a little worried that moving back I would not connect with old friends the same way...I'm such a different girl than the one who left nearly 8 years ago and I'm discovering neither are many of them. Just as I have changed so have they and most for the better.

I've realized and accepted that the next few months will simply be hard and at times feel unbearable. There is nothing to do but ride it out and re-evaluate after the heartache of missing my Missouri life and people has subsided, though I know it won't truly go away, it won't always feel this painful.

I really did not think things through...so much alone time for this extrovert is a VERY bad thing...so I'm headed to the parentals for some family time and to celebrate the best Daddy there is.

as promised another dating story...

Dating Adventure #2
I've decided the easiest way to go about this is to tell the stories chronologically...while there were many other chat room encounters ( a guy who ended up in Prison, the really nice guy who was just "too" nice, etc.)...my very first face to face date was with a guy named Tim or Timmybear (his match.com handle).

So we met on match.com and talked nearly everyday for about two months. He lived in St. Louis and so meeting up was challenging. Finally, we found a weekend where he could come down and see me. I was living with a lady from church in NIxa at the time and she was very conservative and was not okay with boys spending the night...so I had arranged for him to stay with my friends Elis and Tracy. He met me at my house and shocker number 1...I remember being soooo nervous and I should have been. He looked nothing like the pictures he had posted and not in a good way. But I'm not that vain so I thought thats fine I like who he is so its not that big of a deal.
We go to dinner (at Millies for all my Springfield friends) and conversation was a bit awkward, lots of silences and just weirdness and then I noticed how he curled his lip almost absentmindedly, like a tick. I thought okay hes just nervous too. We left dinner and head out to ArtWalk where we meet up with Elis and Tracy thank God. Pressure was off for a little while, Elis being the great relator immediately picks up conversation with Tim and Tracy and I have a minute to girl talk. The night starts to feel more comfortable and the Tim I had been talking to the last two months finally appears and I feel a little more confident. We end the night back at Elis and Tracy's for coffee and ice cream and we hug goodbye.

The next morning I go over to Elis and Tracy's and they invite us to breakfast with Elis' brother Jay and his wife. Tim really wanted to go so I thought sure. As we're eating Jay asks us how we met and I said the internet, he asked if it was eHarmony and Tim replies no it was match.com, eHarmony wouldn't allow me to be a member. At first I thought well how dumb of them and how strange, but didn't dwell on it too much. After breakfast I drove us down to Branson to park near the dam. We walked around table rock lake for awhile and just talked and really connecting; however, I waiting for some kind of spark of attraction that just wasn't happening. Next we headed to the landing to eat lunch and he picked Joe's Crab Shack (not my favorite place but whatev's) I had a couple beers which at the time affected me quite a bit, as Rhondy would say I started to get my lean on :) So of course I was a little more relaxed and flirty, but Tim just seemed distant. Not good. He drove us back to my house and he was in a hurry to leave, he quickly hugged me thanked me for a good time and was on his way. The last I have ever heard from him was on his way home texting me about how he got a speeding ticket. I called him a couple times after that weekend without a response (I've discovered is a typical guy move when they don't have the balls to just tell you it ain't gonna work out, like I don't already know that, sheesh!). On Monday, however, I was recounting all the events of the weekend to a co-worker who was like, "that's really bizarre that a dating company would not take his money!" It got me thinking, why would eHarmony reject someone? So I called them and asked...the answer I received was that they screen everyone with this personality inventory, that actually gauges emotional readiness for a long-term relationship and makes sure that their clients are psychologically sound. My mind was spinning, so either he was emotionally unavailable or psychotic, I choose to believe the former, but seriously!!!

This is not even close to the weirdest experience...hold on kids!!

Here I go again...

So I know I've re-booted this blog so many times...but I feel like I have a theme this  time...I also don't have a job and changed my entire life, so I may have a few things to say!

I just moved back to California after living in Missouri for 8 years...a bit weird, idn't it!! At some point I'll get into the why's and what's. For several years now my friends have been bugging me to write about my online dating adventures (I carefully chose that word) and I have the time and the inspiration...

So here's what's gonna happen...every week I'm going tell you all about what's happening in California as I see it, AND I'm going to tell about an adventure until I run out of stories and after I run out, maybe I'll start creating new adventures!!

Week 1:
After the last couple of AWESOME months hanging out with some great folks, it was VERY hard to leave MO! I cried for most of the first day of driving, my poor sister didn't know what to do with me...we ended up in Denver that night with a great hostess Jenn! She had just moved into a new house, yet set up beds and the bathroom with all the fixin's...even made us a fabulous Fettuccine Alfredo dinner. We slept for about 6 or 7 hours and got up early to make the last LOOONGG trek home. Except...my sister got the flu and I had to drive most of the way...we made it by midnight after just two days of driving a total of 2000ish miles. I had a lot of time to think and beyond just missing people, my mind was full of regret and the inability to grasp the idea that I am a Californian again. My hope as I re-boot my life is that I can learn from all the mistakes I've made and be confident in the person I've grown into the last 8 years.

Today I left my parents house a little sickly and landed in San Jose to house sit for my best friends soon-to-be sister in-law. Its a bomb-diggity house with the coolest pool and hot tub...also the cutest lil' pups to hang out with. Feeling sick in a new place all alone for the first time in a couple months has left me feeling a little sad, a little empty and unsure if my decisions were good ones. Hopefully, the adage that things will be better in the morning holds true.

Dating Adventure 1:
Back in the day..waay back...when AOL was new...I met a random guy in a chat room... we chatted quite often and at the time I was a pretty zealous Christian and he was a devout Orthodox Catholic...so he said! At some point...probably a few weeks after chatting or talking on the phone for a couple months...he basically asked me when we were going to have sex...and that's where it ended! I learned a ton about Orthodox Catholicism and for that I will truly be grateful and one would think that I would have run far away from online dating, but no it's just getting started...but that's for next week!