I should never have labeled this blog a daily anything...it's really been a yearly blog...so I renamed it.
I've decided that it's time for a post...the last year has really flown by and I feel like I was in this whirlwind of fun, heartbreak, more stress than I have ever experienced and the creation of many new friendships all mixed up in the middle of a chaotic job.
Somehow I've come out of the last year with some order to all of that and more clarity than ever before. I feel like the last three years I have been wandering in the desert and now I am finally at my destination.
I am happy. I am home.
More than that, I am myself...I know myself and am known by others...such a great treasure; I hope I never take it for granted.
With the sense of contentment comes the drive for more...I have never been a person simply satisfied with what is...so now creativity has been flowing and I know it is because my purpose has returned.
Deep down in my soul I have always known my purpose and the time for running from it is over. I am not meant to be another casualty of societal pressure, but rather a person of influence.
I've decided that it is more offensive to others for me to be anyone other than myself. To deny the path that has led me here or the assurances that have been shown to me in the last 32 years of life is a travesty.
All this to say...I'm done with a lifestyle that numbs me rather than enriches me...I'm done pretending that I don't live, breathe and die because of a savior who first did that for me...I'm done letting the behavior and opinion of others persuade me from having my own.
It feels really good to connect with my God and to be on a road that leads to health.
It feels good to have uncertain faith.
I have meaningful relationships with my students and that is all I ever wanted. To be able to speak into their lives because of mutual respect and see them become amazing people that make awesome decisions.
Having said all of this...it is terribly disappointing to see people you care about make really awful decisions...it's one of those moments when you see your own mistakes so clearly and wish they did not have to experience them. Yet I know how it feels to be making them too and it doesn't matter what anyone says...it is truly up to the individual to make good or bad choices.
I wish sometimes that I could shell up and be a closed person; however, it is simply not my nature and I don't think it ever will be.
Anyway...just some thoughts on a nice Saturday evening with me!
